Today I had to write an essay for my new school in Mexico. What seemed so far away keeps getting closer and closer. Mixed thoughts. In a way I'm scared. First days. Loneliness. Naked. I wanna look in the future and see that everything is going to be alright but that can't be done. And although the ticket comes with a return, I don't know if I will like my stay.
I have always had a hard time missing things. A defense mechanism I guess, it is really hard for me to miss someone or something. In a way it's good. I never get too attached to something that it hurts to then leave, but I never establish a home. My whole life I've been living with a 5 year expiration date. At 5 I moved to US, at 10 back to Lima, and now at 16 is the longest I've stayed in one place.
And now all I can think about is Mexico and how that will be, the ups and downs of moving. I'm living in the future, just waiting for it to happen. Like my life is split in to chapters and this one already ended and I'm just waiting for the next one to roll in. But I can just stand here waiting for the future while the present is happening.
So here I am, writing for a school I might not get in to, trying to explain everything about myself as summarized as I can, and all I can think of is "Hello". Hello Mexico, hello new school, hello new friends (if there is any), hello new life.
I'm ready.
I have always had a hard time missing things. A defense mechanism I guess, it is really hard for me to miss someone or something. In a way it's good. I never get too attached to something that it hurts to then leave, but I never establish a home. My whole life I've been living with a 5 year expiration date. At 5 I moved to US, at 10 back to Lima, and now at 16 is the longest I've stayed in one place.
And now all I can think about is Mexico and how that will be, the ups and downs of moving. I'm living in the future, just waiting for it to happen. Like my life is split in to chapters and this one already ended and I'm just waiting for the next one to roll in. But I can just stand here waiting for the future while the present is happening.
So here I am, writing for a school I might not get in to, trying to explain everything about myself as summarized as I can, and all I can think of is "Hello". Hello Mexico, hello new school, hello new friends (if there is any), hello new life.
I'm ready.